Temporary Boss...Forever Husband Page 13

  Years ago, the first apartment Bethany shared with Gage had been as familiar as Allison’s own. She knew where everything belonged… More importantly, she knew where she belonged.

  Now, without her sister there, she felt as much of a stranger as Zach.

  “Something I did,” she admitted. Was Bethany ever going to give her the chance to make up for the distance and mistakes of the past? She’d thought after the day they went shopping and worked together to arrange the furniture in the nursery, she and Bethany would keep growing closer. Instead, their relationship had stalled. No waves currently rocked the boat, but they were merely drifting and going nowhere.

  “Hey.” Zach set down his toolbox and lifted a hand to tilt her face away from the closed door. Her skin tingled at his touch, and Allison read the question in his eye. But Zach being Zach, he didn’t ask the obvious. He simply said, “You okay?”

  Allison felt a rush of gratitude. She didn’t want to discuss the distance between her and her sister. She didn’t even want to think about it right then, and she couldn’t have hoped for a better distraction. “Yeah, I’m good. But not as good as you,” she added with a glance at his toolbox. She’d never pictured this working-class side of him, but it looked at home on him. And almost as comfortable as the jeans and T-shirt and shadow of beard darkening his jaw. “I can’t wait to see you in action.”

  “How quickly you forget, Allison. I’d say you’ve already seen me in action at least twice now.”

  Allison gave a startled laugh. She didn’t know if Zach was purposely trying to charm her out of her disappointment in Bethany’s leaving, but like the casual clothes, she wanted to see more of this playful side of him. So after giving him the tour of the house, she settled in to watch him work like some kind of tool belt bunny. “Was it a big change for you, going from working in the field to being in the office?”

  “It was, but at the same time, I was ready for it. More than ready.” Zach worked as he talked, measuring and making notes on the best locations for running the wires and installing the contacts along the front door jamb. “I’d put in for a few promotions, and the customer service position came open first. I was only there for a few years before the sales position became available. I’ve been in sales longer than those two positions combined.”

  “Yeah, but you love sales.”

  “I do.” He hesitated and dropped the measuring tape into his toolbox before meeting her gaze. “But that hasn’t stopped me from going after another promotion.”

  Allison was still recovering from the thought of Zach walking away from a job she knew he loved when he added, “I’m up for VP of sales. The board is supposed to make its decision in the next two weeks. Winning the Collins account would give me the edge over the competition.”

  “VP? But that’s a management position,” she pointed out, unable to keep the surprise from her voice.

  “Yeah, it is. Let me guess,” he said, “you think I’d be good at it.”

  She thought he’d hate it. Zach Wilder stuck behind a desk, evaluating salespeople who likely wouldn’t have either the drive or talent he possessed? He’d go nuts not being able to go after every lead himself. “Do you think you’ll be good at it?”

  “It’s a step up, and that is always a move in the right direction,” he said without a hint of the doubts she felt. “When I was still installing, I didn’t know if I’d be any good at customer service. But I worked hard, learning everything I could. Same thing happened when I moved into sales, and it’ll happen again with the VP position.”

  “I suppose,” Allison agreed halfheartedly.

  But what did she know? She wouldn’t have pictured Zach as the kind of guy who worked with his hands, but it was easy to imagine him with a drill in his hand, confident in every move, and Allison couldn’t pull her gaze away. She followed him from room to room under the guise of understanding the system, but security was the last thing on her mind. Nothing about her attraction to Zach could be called playing it safe.

  Especially when the promotion would mean Zach moving to the corporate office in San Francisco.

  “So you’ll be leaving…”

  “No,” he answered quickly, making Allison wonder what he might have heard in her voice. “I’d be overseeing the sales teams in Vegas, L.A. and here, so Phoenix would stay my base of operations for now.”

  “I see,” Allison said truthfully.

  She saw Zach taking on new responsibilities that included a tri-state commute. He’d be stretched so thin, no relationship would stand a chance. But he’d already told her he didn’t do forever. The news of the promotion wasn’t any cause for Allison’s stomach to tie in knots or for loss to sweep through her forcefully enough to leave her feeling hollow inside. It was better this way, right? To push off the edge of that hill, eyes wide open to what lay ahead? With Zach, there was no chance of being blindsided. Any relationship would be temporary, and when the time came, they’d both be ready to move on.

  “This is the last room,” Allison told Zach as she opened the door to the secondary bedroom. “It’s the nursery. Or will be once it’s finished.”

  “Looks ready to me,” Zach said as he eyed the dresser, changing table and crib.

  “It takes more than baby furniture to make a nursery. It’s far too bland and boring as it is,” she said with a wave of her hand. “You need cartoon character murals and bright colors everywhere.”

  “Hmm, I get the feeling Bethany wasn’t too thrilled with that idea.”

  She laughed. “That’s because she’s seen me decorate and knows I have absolutely no artistic ability.” Allison said the words without a false sense of modesty or in the hope of gaining a compliment.

  “Right up there with ceramics, huh?” Zach asked, thinking of the lopsided coffee cup she used at work.

  She scrunched her nose in thought. “I’d say not quite as good as the ceramics.”

  He watched as she smoothed a wrinkle out of the bunny sheets. “I don’t get it, Allison.”

  The dreamy smile drifted from her face and wariness crept in. “Get what?”

  “You. And all the hobbies you waste time on.”

  “They’re not a waste of time,” she protested.

  “They are if you don’t enjoy them. And don’t tell me you do. You aren’t the kind of person who’s going to get all excited about a straight line of needlepoint.”

  “I probably would considering I’ve never managed a straight line,” she muttered.

  Ignoring that, he pressed, “I know family’s important to you, and you want to reconnect with your sister. But…I’ve watched you work. I’ve seen the excitement, the spark in your eyes when you’re on to something. And I’ve seen that light die when you talk about moving on to another temp job.”

  “That’s not true,” Allison protested, her voice weak. But when Zach didn’t answer, letting silence speak for him, her shoulders slouched on a sigh, and she sank onto the narrow window seat. “My sister and I were so close growing up… Do you have any siblings?”

  “No. Only child,” Zach said as he sat beside her. As a kid, he’d often longed for a brother or sister only to later realize being an only child was for the best. Another kid would have simply given his father another reason to complain.

  “Growing up, Bethany and I were more than sisters. We were best friends. I never cared about fitting in at school or worried about having someone to sit with at lunch because I always had Bethany. But now…” Allison lifted her hands helplessly. “It’s hard to remember that we were ever that close, and I need to prove to her that I’ve changed. That family matters more to me than any job ever could.”

  “Don’t you think you’ve proved that by now with the temp jobs?”

  “Then why is there still such a barrier between us?”

  “Maybe that’s not why she’s really upset. Maybe it’s something else entirely.”

  “I don’t suppose you can tell me what that something else might be?”

  Even t
hough he didn’t hear any sarcasm behind Allison’s question, Zach wondered what the hell he thought he was doing handing out advice on family harmony. Like he was some kind of expert! Allison would be better off taking her cues from a fortune cookie. “I don’t know. You said you’d always been close…. What changed?”

  “My senior year of college, I started seeing this guy. Kevin Hodges. He was smart and ambitious and driven. He understood how much I loved advertising and the goals I’d set for myself.”

  “What goals?” Zach asked gently as if he knew she hadn’t achieved them and had perhaps even guessed that only a traumatic event could have convinced her to give them up.

  “To hire on at a big advertising firm, work my way up until I’d made a name for myself before starting my own company.” Seeing the surprised lift to Zach eyebrows, she added, “All before I turned thirty.”

  “Impressive.”

  “Yeah, Kevin thought so, too. In fact, the idea of starting a business was something we had in common. Something Bethany and I didn’t share. She’d taken a few college courses and worked a few jobs in retail, but they were just jobs. What she really wanted was to have a family. She and Gage got married the summer after I graduated.”

  The wedding was the last time her family had truly been together, and it hurt that those memories were now clouded by Gage and Bethany’s separation. A separation Allison didn’t understand and Bethany refused to talk about.

  “A few weeks after that, Kevin received a job offer for a firm in New York. An old family friend of his father’s worked at Barton/Mills, giving Kevin an in most recent grads would die for. He even had his friend ask around to find an opening in the firm for me. It was an entry-level position, but I didn’t care. After all, working my way up had always been part of my plan.”

  She’d been so naïve, so certain hard work would be recognized and rewarded. She’d been completely blind to that fact that some people were willing to succeed at any cost.

  “And that’s what caused the rift between you and Bethany?” Zach surmised. “She resented you for taking the job in New York when she wanted you to stay here?”

  Naturally, Zach, with his belief that personal ties would only hold him back, assumed Bethany had discouraged her far-flung dreams of success, but he was wrong. “No, she was thrilled for me. She might not have understood my goals, but she supported me every step of the way. When I told her I wasn’t sure I was ready to take such a big step, Bethany was the one to tell me I didn’t dare turn down a chance of a lifetime opportunity.”

  “So you went to the Big Apple and…”

  “And I loved it. The energy, the fast pace, the constant motion. I thought it was amazing, if you can believe that.”

  “I can.” Allison had that same energy humming beneath her skin when she wasn’t busy trying to suppress it. He could easily imagine her amid the crowds in New York, just like he could imagine her working her way up in an ad firm. Advertising was big business but with a creative flair that fit Allison to a T. “I can picture you hitting the sidewalk ready to take on anything and anyone. I bet you can even do that two-fingered whistle.”

  “You mean like this?” Placing her thumb and forefinger against her lips, she let loose an ear-piercing whistle bound to stop any cab within a mile radius.

  Wincing in mock pain, Zach said, “That’s the one.”

  “I learned a lot in New York.” Her smile fell away, and Zach knew some of those lessons had been painful ones. “Unfortunately, I forgot a lot of the things I’d learned here.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like birthdays and anniversaries and holidays. I forgot how important family is, and I’m still not sure how I let it happen. When I left for New York, I made all kinds of promises. I’d email every day and call once a week and spend all my vacations on trips back home. I meant every word, too. But I underestimated how quickly I would get pulled into a desire to prove myself, to succeed.”

  Zach knew exactly what Allison was talking about. How addictive the thrill of the chase could be. But while he lived for that chase, felt it pulsing through his veins like a shot of adrenaline, talking about it left Allison drained of energy. Sorrow bowed her shoulders, and Zach once again realized that was what families did. Burdened you with so much guilt you didn’t have a chance to reach for your dreams.

  “The emails dropped to once a week, phone calls to once a month. And somehow, those trips home never happened.”

  “How long were you in New York?”

  “Three years.”

  “Why did you leave?”

  “I had promised my sister I would help plan a surprise party for my dad’s sixtieth birthday. Of course, my help ended up being nothing more than a five-second phone call or two, telling Bethany to do whatever she thought best. And then, the firm had a huge client fall into our laps. A major cosmetic company fired their advertising company. They were prepared to give our company the contract if we could wow them with half a dozen potential ads by the following week.”

  “So you canceled your trip home.”

  “Close. I told Bethany I would fly in for the party and then turn around and head home. For my sister, that was the last straw. We got into a huge fight, yelling and calling each other names. Things we didn’t do as kids. Finally, I told her if she really thought I was so selfish and so self-centered, she probably wouldn’t want me at the party, and I hung up.”

  “People say things when they’re angry, but you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not that bad—”

  “No, it wasn’t that bad.” Allison pushed to her feet, agitation carrying her across the room to the crib she and Bethany had picked out together. “The bad part came later,” she whispered, “when Bethany called me at work the next week. I was ten minutes from pitching my idea to the cosmetic company, and I wasn’t about to let her spoil my moment of triumph with all her negative opinions about my job and my priorities. So I didn’t take the call. I went in and I gave the pitch of my life. The print campaign, the commercials, everything was exactly what the client was looking for, and we won the account. We were all headed out for a night on the town to celebrate when I remembered Bethany’s call. I called her back, ready to gloat about the amazing job I’d done, and that’s when she told me. Our father had had a heart attack. I flew out as soon as I could, but it was too late. I was too late. He was already gone. I keep waiting, hoping Bethany will forgive me. Because…maybe—maybe then I’ll be able to forgive myself.”

  Her hands gripped the crib railing like a lifeline; a single soft sound of sorrow escaped her threat. The muted sob threatened to break Zach’s heart, and without thinking, he took three quick strides and pulled Allison into his arms. He’d never been the comforting type, had never dealt with a woman’s tears before.

  But this wasn’t any woman. This was Allison. Tough, smart, wisecracking Allison. Only he was starting to realize how much her bold personality hid the vulnerability inside. The urge to wipe away her sadness, to solve all her problems hit Zach with a desire he’d never experienced outside of work, along with an insecurity he hadn’t felt since he was a kid. Helpless, he struggled for words and found nothing.

  What was wrong with him that he couldn’t say something? Couldn’t offer some sort of consolation? Was he that heartless? That empty inside? “Allie—”

  Her head lifted at the sound of his voice. One look into her damp green eyes, and no words were necessary. He brushed his mouth against hers, his lips and tongue conveying everything he thought he didn’t know how to say.

  I’m so sorry.

  It’s not your fault.

  You need to forgive yourself.

  And as the tension eased from her body and the tears dried from her cheeks, Zach sensed she heard every word in her answering kiss.

  Zach finished the last of his notes for the security system by rote. Fortunately, he was so familiar with the system, he no longer had to think about what he was doing. A good thing since his thoughts and emotions were
tied up in a knot that couldn’t be untangled as easily as separating the right color wire.

  He and Allison had been tap dancing back and forth over the line of business versus pleasure since before they started working together, but this time he feared finding his way back wouldn’t be so easy. Like in the Harrison Ford movies he’d loved as a kid, Zach felt the ground behind him starting to crumble beneath his feet, giving him no choice but to hold on to his hat and jump into an unknown future. But he wasn’t so sure he had the adventurer’s uncanny ability to survive the landing unscathed.

  He and Allison had kissed before, but desire, need, even frustration had fueled those embraces. Today was different. Desire and need were still present and accounted for; Allison’s proximity as she followed him from room to room, her curious and appreciative gaze marking his every move, guaranteed that.

  But more dangerous and far less easily defined—or easily dismissed—emotions had underscored their last kiss. Pulling Allison into his arms hadn’t been about wanting her as much as it had been about wanting to hold her. To comfort her.

  He wasn’t quite sure where that kind of longing had come from, only that it pretty much scared the hell out of him. He wasn’t the comforting type. That he’d even tried warned Zach he was in much further over his head than he’d imagined.

  He heard footsteps in the hallway, but it was Bethany, not Allison, who stepped into the nursery. “Allison said you’re almost done.”

  “I have everything we’ll need for the install. I can go over the system if you’d like, but Allison has it down.”

  “No, that’s okay. But thanks for the offer and your help.”

  “Allison’s the one who really deserves the thanks, not me.”

  “Yeah, well.” Bethany shrugged, but he wasn’t buying the nonchalant reaction. Keeping her distance from Allison wasn’t as easy as Bethany wanted it to seem. “Thanks.”